Trying to be a full time mom, and working full time is HARD!

This week has been difficult for me. I am now working full time, getting off at 11 at night. When I get home, Daryl is either in bed, or still at work. I think I have seen him one night this week briefly. This morning he came in around 4:30, I tried to stay up and wait for him, but crashed around 330. Then I was up at about 7 waiting for Raylen to get here, he woke up at 730, showered and ran out the door, not evey saying goodbye or anything... I ran outside to try to catch him, he seemed annoyed to have to stop the car, but he did get out and hug me and say goodbye. I guess it's because I am just so tired, but it really bothered me.

20 minutes later, I got a phone call from him. He just wanted to say he loved me and was sorry he left so quickly, he was just running late.

This working full time for me at nights, and him working days, is so very hard. AND I have to work on Saturdays, so that makes 6 day work weeks for me. And less time to see him. I know we need the money, but I am so worried this is going to hurt us, and our marriage by not ever having any time together. I try to talk to him at least 2 times a day on the phone. I always call him when I am on my way to work, and then on my first break at work I call him. It's not much, but it's all I can do.

The full time hours WILL be so helpful, but it's tiring and stressful.

I know lots of mom's work full time. When I first got my job, I got a comment from one of my sisters about how she's always worked full time and her kids are fine.. Well, I not only work OUTSIDE the home full time, I am also still a full time homeschooling mom, I take care of my beautiful granddaughter 2 days a week, and have to STILL do all the mom stuff at home.. (groceries, laundry, some cooking- Rebecca will NOT cook any meat at all) and then there is all the homeschooling stuff, activities, schooling, classes, etc. 

I am exhausted today. and still have 2 more workdays till I get a day off. I like working, being around other adults, and helping our family out financially. I really wish I had more help around the house I think. Then I wouldn't feel like I am being pulled so much, and stress about what isn't getting done at home while I am helping our family out.


I hate coming home at 11:30, and doing the dinner dishes that were left for me.... or realizing I forgot to do laundry earlier in the day, so I have to stay up till the clothes are washed, dried and hung up for Daryl.  Then I see basket full of laundry sitting there with someones dog LAYING on clean clothes and I just get so aggravated.


I know it's hard on the kids, with me working full time, but they are old enough to do things around here without my constant supervision. at 23 (24 in 3 weeks!) 15, and almost 14, you would think they could SEE things need to get done.. Dishes... vacuuming, tidying up, folding or hanging some laundry, etc... but it never happens until I TELL them to do it. Maybe I am expecting too much maturity from my children.

Ok, I am tired. It's only 945 am.. I have been awake 3 hours, after sleeping a little over 3 hours, and I am EXHAUSTED already. Raylen has had breakfast, we are enjoying watching old cartoons on Netflix (Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny, and Tweety!) I think Memaw will curl up on the sofa and rest while her little angel watches these for a while. And then I hope Uncle Michael might spend some time outside with her!


I am thankful I have my job, Thankful I have my kids and husband. I do feel unappreciated at times, and think that my family may not realize how much of myself I give to them on a daily basis..  I am working FOR our family..   I am not doing it for fun, or for "spending money" or for any selfish reasons at all, other than the fact I like to be able to eat, and drive a car.. I guess that is selfish.


Time for this tired Memaw to build her little angel a "nest" on the floor.. she has been asking for about 10 minutes, and no one else is willing to do it, so I will go make a blanket/pillow nest for a 4 year old.