For the past 5 years or so I have really begun to dread the holidays.
I miss my mama.
Mom loved Christmas, she loved decorating, loved watching the grandkids open gifts. It and July 4th were her favorite holidays. My mom wasn't the kind of mom that did tons of holiday baking, or homemade gifts, or anything. She just loved decorating her home up, and celebrating. She had the most awesome nativity set. She made it when I was small, when we lived on Guam. I loved her nativity. One of my sisters owns it now. I have searched for many years for a store bought one that I love as much as my moms, but still haven't found it. When she got her's out, even from a very young age, I always knew it was CHRISTMAS.
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| Christmas 2004 - Last one with Grandma Sue |
When we lived in Alaska, we went and got our own live tree - it was awesome - mama and daddy put tinfoil on the wall behind it to reflect the lights..
We moved to Texas in 1971. No live trees anymore, But that year we got a beautiful big artificial tree...
my mom insisted on using it for years and years..
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| Stockings Christmas 71 - Rachel, Stevi (me) Laurie, Dad and Mom |
Dad and mom finally replaced it in the early 2000's. But Mama never really warmed up to the new tree dad bought..- it wasn't the same.
We had some ornaments that were older than my little sisters.. my favorites were these open bells and balls that had little angels in them. She also had glass balls I bet were older than me. As we girls all grew up, got married, had kids, and lives changed, so did her decorations.. she got this train one time to go around the tree.. then she got a disney musical thingy that she set out every year.
My mom loved Christmas. she's been gone 5 1/2 years now, and dad's been gone almost that long also. I miss them. I hope somehow, somewhere they know how very much I loved them, because I don't know if they knew that when they were alive. I tried, but somehow I always feel like I failed them..
Miss you mom, so very very much.
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